Damn Allen Turner.
If you’ve been reading along, you know of my ongoing battle against my comic collection, which I should start calling the Hive since it’s kept in a semi-walk-in closet and is my own personal vault of terror. I’m sure that Umbrella Corp. could store some really nasty stuff in my comic boxes before I would ever uncover it. Too much exposure in the Hive does cause early onset zombification.
Last month I took a break from the Wanye Toy, Comics and Collectibles show to do some trips, and unfortunately I had to leave some boxes still on the first floor of my house. Hauling a long box of 300 books up one floor and into the Hive is not something you want to do after a day in the office. I would relocate these books downstairs, but my girlfriend makes very good points about clutter. I had read a recent article in the Comic Buyer’s Guide (I couldn’t find it in their online archives) about the horrible crawl and sprawl of comics that infested one man’s house, and I needed to act. The whole goal of the shows I’m going to is to sell off my junk. I have had luck so far dealing a couple of high-end items and a plethora of low-end/high volume stuff, but it’s still moving a beach full of sand with a spoon.
At the same time, I’ve been planning on using the profits as well as some thrifty savings plans to pay off my mortgage ahead of schedule. It’s aggressive and feels overwhelming, but I visit The Simple Dollar finance blog every day, and it kind of sticks in your head; this is possible. Comics should help me out.
But I hope Allen Turner burns in hell for what he did.
Allen has shown up and seen my comic cave-oops-the Hive (gotta get used to the new name) about 3 times in the past 3 years. He likes to sit with my golden age books and glare at the covers. I don’t usually mind, but he’s always asking to make one more visit and it gets kind of annoying. Allen has to travel a distance to get to my house, so you have to plan out the entire visit, but he’ll still give you short notice and say “I’ll be there next week”.
Plus, Allen’s not a cheap date.
I calculated that Allen has probably cost me about $800 to be my guest. I don’t know how it adds up so fast, or where it comes from, but you can’t meet Allen without blowing some cash.
Call him Mr. Popularity. The last time Allen was going to come over, I got jerked around at the last second and he routed his trip to another house across the country. Allen is the type of person who makes any excuse possible to fly.
So last week, I find out that Mr. Turner may be coming out, he’s putting out feelers. I looked at my wallet and decided that I needed to get some closure with Allen and tell him this type of shit has to stop. I don’t care if he’s a Big Shot, I’m going to put an end to it, which is still going to cost me some money, money that I don’t want to spend right now.
I waited last night to hear back from Allen. And waited. And waited. Then suddenly I found out that he was coming to see the Hive, and he told me that he wasn’t going to cost as much as last time. Allen’s not in the shape he used to be in.
Today I sit with my confirmation of Allen’s trip and his promise that yes, this is the last time. Now I can finally put all of Allen’s trips together into one single adventure and close a chapter in my life. But dammit Allen, you’ve cost me a lot of money over the years. I’m glad I can stop being your groupie.
Allen isn’t an ordinary person. He’s a multimillionaire who also goes by the name of Skyman. Finally, I have a copy of issue #2 of Skyman, and I finally have the complete four issue series. I won it on a moderately low bid on eBay and used money from some sold video games to fund the purchase. It’s pretty beat up, but well worth it. I’ve attached a scan of what the original cover art looked like as it appeared in 1942. Mine won’t be anywhere near as sharp and crisp, but it’s mine, and I can put all four issues into the Hive.
Allen Turner. You just put my mortgage plans back about $80. Dammit.